This is a blog post that is very personal to me as it was grief and loss that changed and continues to change my life to this very day.  I want to speak directly from the heart and what I have gone through in hopes that someone grieving or stuck in the process will find my story comforting or inspiring or even entertaining enough to alleviate the pain for at least a few minutes.

 On Thanksgiving, 2014, my Father announced to the family he had Acute Myeloid Leukemia.  He didn't eat a thing.  His PCP had found an abnormal result in his bloodwork and he had gone to an oncologist and got diagnosed.  They didn't outright say it was a terminal diagnosis but to me it was obvious.  A 3% survival rate.  I will never forget the feeling of knowing my Dad was going to die soon. 

 I worked with my Dad every day in his office.  He decided to go through with chemotherapy and the treatments began.  Then he got sick.  His lungs were filling with fluid.  To the ER we go!  He had developed a fungal infection and needed to be held for observation.  Under observation, it was discovered the cancer had gotten worse and his immune system was weakening.  He was now in a state of neutropenia which basically means he is susceptible to anything and everything.  We had to scrub down and wear masks to see him.  No visitors except family were to be permitted. 

In order to properly care for Dad, I had to leave work.  My Dad was unable to control his excretory system, often too weak to eat and beyond depressed.  I began to obsess over homeopathic and natural cures.  Anything that would help in any way was taken into consideration.  I procured Soursop, a Jamaican fruit known to have anti carcinogenic properties.  I hand-squeezed wheatgrass juice daily.  Fresh. organic fruits and vegetables and proteins were hormone-free and organic as well.  He ate bowls of mashed asparagus.  I hand-fed him protein-enriched Jell-O when he was too weak to chew. 

He was getting better in my opinion.  If nothing else, happier and more alive.  Then, the Oncologist suggested more chemotherapy. 

The chemo made him so weak he ended up in the ICU.  After that, he was back and forth between Oncology and ICU.  The chemo hadn't worked and he was going to die.  His Oncologist, whom my Dad had COMPLETE faith would fully heal him and he would be back to work and normal life in no time, came in to shake his hand goodbye.  The look on my Dad's face when he realized he was at the end is forever burnt into my mind. 

That evening, or maybe it was the next evening, around 11PM his body began to shut down.  They gave him the option of passing at the hospital or hospice and he chose hospice.  He was rushed to the hospice building and put in a room.  His family surrounded him and as I held his hand, he took his last few breaths.

What followed was such an intense series of emotional haymakers that I can't really remember the arrangements or the funeral.  I was lost.  Hurt.  Angry.  Guilty.  Afraid.  I began to search.  How do people move on from such a horrible and painful time? 

A friend had mentioned one time in casual conversation that I would make a good hypnotist.  I always assumed hypnotists were dudes in suits that make people cluck like chickens on stage.  Something made me research.  Call it intuition, premonition, a hunch, whatever.  I found that there was something called hypnotherapy that combines hypnosis with healing techniques pulled from many facets of psychotherapy and others.  Hypnotherapy would put you into a state of profound relaxation and then find the root cause of your symptoms causing your issue, processing and healing it to create a positive outcome. 

At this point, I had nothing to lose so I typed in some searches onto Google and found a school based out of Florida that taught very advanced forms of hypnotherapy.  Once I saw this, I was in.  This is for me.  I just knew it. 

During school, we had to practice hypnotherapy on each other during Practicals.  I used that time to process not only my grief and loss but so much more!  Things were changing and I was beginning to feel happy and fulfilled again. 

I, have become, through hypnotherapy and self-discovery, the man that my Dad always saw in me.  Life went on.  I chose to move on.  Through pain and tragedy came solace and a Higher Purpose. 

I bear my soul today in hopes that this story of mine reaches that person in need.  I do this line of work because I needed this to help myself heal and would love nothing more than to share what I have learned with anyone who suffers in any way.  This DOES work!!  I am living proof.